Right after that checkup later that evening the bleeding starts again. To the point where I was hemmoraging again. At 2:00am thanks to BFF Angie I was on my way back to the hospital and at 10:00am I was back in the OR. Lemme just say this is beyond my comprehension. None of this makes sense to me. Chicago was having a fierce snowstorm this day too and my mom wanted to go home to get her car so while I was in recovery a neighbor took her home to get a few things *I don’t understand this at all everything is a blank to me*

My surgeon said the bleeding hadn’t stopped and they wanted to go back in and do some more surgery. They called mom while she was gone home to get consent and she lost it. Two surgeries in one day, no way was I gonna make it.

Luckily my surgeon decided to consult with another surgeon and he said there was no way they could do another surgery on me. My body has to have time to heal itself.

So she said ok and that we were going to take this super slow and that she wasn’t rushing me home anytime soon. I was ok with that because I did not want to end up back in that joint. Well that was a Monday Dec.16th and on that Thursday I contracted the infectious disease of CDIFF which comes from laying up in a hospital or being on antibiotics. Which I had been the week previously.

Cdiff ain’t no joke and I’m tired.

I was able to come home Christmas Eve but this has been no fun! I am extremely grateful to be home and I don’t think I can do another stint like that in the hospital.

I still have Cdiff and it’s contagious so no contact with me. So that means no Dollface. She and I haven’t even seen each other for Christmas. I miss her much!

I’ve been in a narcotic fog since I’ve been home because the pain associated is great. All I do is go to the bathroom, take my pain meds, sleep when I can and start all over again.

I so want to talk with people but right now the pain is just tooooo much. I really wanted to update this so you guys would know what’s going on with me.

Ms. Rose I got your call thank you and thank you!

Rosemarie Thank you gurl you’re the best. I can’t wait to be able to read the book , my eyes don’t stay open long.

Mwabi love you too chica!!!

I went in for my follow-up this morning and my abnormal normalcy is back. Thank you God!!!! All looks good and the medicine in the packing seems to be working which means no bleeding and the body is finally going to be able to heal itself so I can begin the rough regime of chemo, chemo and more chemo starting in January. I still have to take it easy though, no vigorous activity and another follow-up on the 23rd.

I need these couple of weeks before the year is out so I can spend some time with family and friends and not be stuck in this house. Being out in the fresh air and letting the sun shine down on me helps soooooo much! I feel so much better when I can get out and be around people, ya know?

All of this hospital stuff is overwhelming to say the least. I still have other appointments to make to see if I can get an iron transfusion because of the loss of blood from last week, my count is low again I’m sure. Booooooooooo!!!!!! I don’t want another blood transfusion because honestly I don’t think that is working. When I was in the hospital they said it dropped to it’s lowest of 6.4 and the norm is 12-15 and I had just had a blood transfusion a few days before surgery so tell me how that transfusion helped me at all? But gastric bypass patients typically have low blood counts so that is why I have to contact my bariatric RN to set up that appointment to be infused.

Enough about my crazy health.

Dollface is ready for her Christmas break and I am too. I need a break from all of this and for us to get out and enjoy some holiday festivities. She was such a pretty, pretty princess yesterday! I almost cried when she was receiving communion. My baby is growing up!!!! The weather was even good it was like in the 50’s yesterday and can you believe today, right now it’s 8 degrees with a wind chill of -18. Yep that’s crazy Chicago weather for ya LOL!!!!! Having a delicious cup of coffee in my Women for Obama pink and white mug right now and it’s really comforting.

Oh yeah our Governor is a damn fool!!! Sucka knew they were investigating his dumb butt and he still was doing back door deals. What a dumb azz for reals!!!! Just had to throw that in for shit and giggles!!!!

As always thank you all soooooooo much for the prayers!

Get out there and enjoy life yall!!!

Today my babygirl made her First Holy Communion.

I was able to go because I did nothing from Thursday evening up until today. I mean not a thing. I literally only walked to the bathroom and back for 3 days. My mom and my bff were on me like crazy and I felt crazy!!!! Today was sooooo good for me. I got a chance to get out and be with people and celebrate with my Dollface and praise the Lord.

Man it was a good day!!!!!

I go back to the doc tomorrow and we shall see what transpires from that office visit. I hope all is well because I really don’t want to go back into the hospital for more surgery. I’m praying that everything is all healed up the way it’s supposed to be and that my abnormal normalcy is back.

I had another emergency trip to the doc today.

Right before I was released from the hospital last week I started bleeding, like really, really heavy. Yeah I mean like big, huge, nasty, clots and I do mean right before I was released too. The surgical resident did a little looksie and by that time, the bleeding had come to a stop. I was only spotting a little but I let her know how heavy it was for the last two hours before she saw me but she didn’t seem phased, she said it was normal.

I know better.

Normal and me, those two words don’t even go together.

I was home for two days with no problems and then bam in the middle of the night the bleeding started up again.

This is simply bananas yall!!!

I have no uterus, how and why am I bleeding like a madwoman?

Called my doc and she told me to get to the office and off we went.

The clotting was seriously back and she couldn’t believe how much of it there was. I told her I was bleeding like this right before I was released and she said she would have never let me go home if she knew it was that intense. She was told by the resident that I had one tiny clot.

Lying heffa!!! That resident is in TROUBLE!!!!!!

So I have massive packing up in there. Yeah and I’m on strict do nothingness!!!

I missed my Dollface’s Reconcilliation ceremony last night because I had to sit with my feet up and do nothing.

She has her First Holy Communion on Sunday and YOU KNOW I am not missing that.

Don’t worry, I asked permission and I have strict instructions to do nothing while there except get dropped off at the door, sit, sit and sit!!! No driving at all and no standing for long periods of time. Get picked up at the door and go home and do nothing all over again. I go back to the doc on Monday morning.

If during the night I start to bleed again, I have to call and my doc said she will have to take me in to surgery immediately because my vaginal cuff must be injured and she is going out of town tomorrow afternoon. YIKES!!!!

I’m really scared cause this shit is getting to be ridiculous.

Just another setback baby, just another setback. Right?

Yes, yes and it feels soooooo good!!! Last Thursday I went to the ER as directed by my surgeon and the oncologist. Turns out I had a hematoma which needed to be needle aspirated. The pain was so damn intense, I was popping pain pills every 3 hours and I was off of pain meds for over a week so you know something had to be up!!! I spent almost 24 hours in the ER before they had a room for me. I’m talking 4:00pm Thursday evening til 3:00pm Friday afternoon. CRAZY!!!!!

They thought it was an abscess and I was going to have to wear a drain bag for over a week to suck out all the yuckiness but it was just blood pooling around in my lower abdomen.

This is going to be some hell of a ride. I keep telling myself just a little setback baby, just a little setback. You are going to beat this shit. You have to believe that and not just mouth the words. But when they start sticking you 5 and 6 times a day taking blood, giving you blood. I got another 2 pints of blood during this stay. Don’t they see that’s not working????? Hooked up to all types of fluids flowing through my veins.

It’s HARD!!!!

AND I’ve only just begun.

Hell I haven’t even begun really, this is just strictly from the hysterectomy surgery.

I’m going to give it my all though, I’m just being honest and real in saying that this shit sucks!!!!

Three different types of cancer in my body what the fuck is that all about?

Adenocarcinoma, Sarcoma and some type of mucous cancer something like mucilix or something hell I don’t know. My brain shut the hell down for real!!!

Gotta call the oncologist, from now on she will be known as CD for Cancer Doc., tomorrow to set up pretesting for 3 different types of chemo. YEP that’s what she said. She said I will need 3 different types of chemo to treat this mess roaming around in me.

*Fiercely shaking my head and screaming FUCK YOU CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

You know they have t-shirts that say that right? Google it. Oh and you know I’m buying one or making one!!!! More like buying cause I still can’t drive or do too much of anything right now.

Just good to be home in my own bed on my own sheets.

Love yall too man!!! I’mma beat this shit!!!!

I was in intense pain all last night and today I saw my doc and the oncologist. Not good folks, not good at all. I have three different types of cancer roaming throughout my body. Now I’m on my way back to the hospital, I think they are admitting me too. Keep me in your prayers!

I’ve heard all the horror stories of once your ovaries and shit are gone that you become a pissy little bitch but I was like not me baby. I’m too cool and laid back for all of that.

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttt.

Cut to today, I feel like I’m going STARK RAVING MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My hormones are off the damn charts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need some estrogen or something dangit!!!! I gotta do some mad research on this cause I know nothing about this hormonal hell that I feel trapped in. I just know I’m out of control and it’s weird, weird, weird!!!!!!!!

I was all good up until today and just looking at me wrong sets me the hell off!!! It could be I feel like a fucking prisoner couped up in this damn house. I’m so used to being on the go and now all I do is sit the hell in here and sleep cause my energy level is kinda still on the low side.

Did I say I went to church yesterday? Yeah I did cause I felt the need to give God some praise for bringing my looney azz through surgery and today oh Jesus take the wheel!!!

Oh boy, pray for ya girl please.